I’ve written a fair amount of
obits for families, many of which have been published in newspapers. I always
enjoy the process of making the family’s stories, anecdotes and facts weave
together in a concise yet detailed remembrance of their beloved. However,
before publishing my stepfather’s obituary I never knew the risks involved.
When my stepfather died, we wrote and submitted his photo
with obituary to the local newspaper. A few days after the obit appeared, my
mother began receiving strange overseas phone calls demanding money. All the
callers claimed to be working for the Federal government. One stated he was
from the IRS and stated my stepfather owed back-taxes and if my mother did not
comply, she would be sued. Another stated she was calling from the state
department, and was conducting an investigation on my stepfather for fraud .
All of the callers told my mother to have her attorney contact them, giving her
a phone number with a (San Francisco/bay area) 415 area code. Also, after each threatening call, each caller
would sign off with the same farewell message: “And have a blessed day.”
As the calls kept coming, my mother got so stressed out and
frustrated that she started yelling back at them. I begged her to change her number. Once the
number was changed, the calls stopped.
Interestingly, when my mother finally called to have her number changed,
the lady at phone company had a similar story. The lady’s mother and stepmother
also received fraudulent calls after her father died and yes, his obituary too
was published in the local newspaper.
Since my mother was involved in handling their finances, she
knew these callers’ claims was false. But what if she hadn’t known? It’s likely
such scare tactics might work on a less informed spouse.
Nowadays, fewer people are keeping a landline at home and
even fewer have listed phone numbers. For families who still have listed phone
numbers, I’m not sure I would recommend publishing a loved one’s obituary.
Have you ever written and published an obituary? Do you think it’s
still safe to publish a loved one’s obituary? Have you known anyone who has been targeted for scams after publishing an obit?
