Lily’s
Story
Lily’s mother died
at age 86 in the mid 1980’s after several years of struggle with a form of
Alzheimer’s that involved very difficult and troubling behaviors. Now that Lily
has turned 70, her concerns of ending up like her mother have become very real.
What Lily is
Doing Right
Lily has started
trying to adjust her diet to better manage her Type 2 Diabetes and has begun to
take more supplements to support her health, including fish oil and B-vitamins.
She reads daily and usually talks on the phone often with good friends and
relatives. Lily keeps up with regular check-ups at her Primary Care physician
and a Naturopathic Physician. Lily gets on a computer daily and checks-in with
family on Facebook and writes emails to them. Lily also speaks two different
languages, her native Spanish and second language English, and uses both on a daily basis.
What Lily
Could Improve Upon
Lily has not set
up any advanced directives, a will, a trust nor has she designated either a
power of attorney or healthcare representative to any of her children. Although
Lily has saved up some money she would like to will to her children to prevent
them any unnecessary burden, she has not set up a trust for them. Without these
measures, if/when Lily develops Alzheimer’s, one of her children will need to
seek a Guardianship in order to make proper care decisions as well as a
Conservatorship to make financial decisions for her. Guardianship and
Conservatorship are complicated and costly to process through the court system,
which will end up being a burden on her family, which is exactly what she hopes
to avoid.
Lily could benefit
by tying up the loose ends pertaining to her estate and final wishes now
instead of leaving them undone. Lily could also improve her cognitive skills by
playing more games like crossword puzzles and Sudoku. Lily could also focus on
improving her psychological state, as she often seems to get depressed and
emotional. Lily should also focus on more exercise (which she does not do), as
it has proven beneficial for the health of the brain.
Violet’s
Story
Violet’s mom died
at age 92 after fighting Alzheimer’s for 15 years. Violet is now in her early
70’s. At the end, Violet’s mom did not remember her or her sister. Violet said
her mom would simply stare off into space when she visited. Violet never
understood how her mother could develop Alzheimer’s after being a bookkeeper
for 40 years. Violet does not believe the research that points to keeping
mentally fit to avoid Alzheimer’s because her mom kept her brain sharp with
numbers, and President Reagan ran the country, and before that memorized lines
as an actor, and he still got the disease.
What Violet is Doing Right
Violet eats
modestly and avoids sugars. She walks around her neighborhood daily and gets
regular checkups at her Primary Care Physician. (Violet is fortunate to have no
underlying diseases that require managing.) She takes part in hobbies she loves
on a daily basis including scrap booking, reading the newspaper cover to cover
and repairing antique items. She and her son eat dinner together frequently and
usually take one or two vacations a year together. Violet meets up with friends
on a semi-regular basis for coffee or lunch. Violet often goes to movie
premiers to collect autographs. She follows politics and debates ideas with
friends and family. She keeps abreast of all the current news and events.
Violet also uses a computer frequently and emails friends.
Violet has already
completed elaborate advanced directives and instructions for her son. She has
inventoried all her collections with descriptions, names and values so he can
sell things of value after she’s gone.
Conclusion
Clearly, Violet is
better prepared for developing Alzheimer’s than Lily. Although both women are
afraid of developing the disease and are close in age, they aren’t working to
prevent it as fervently. It’s hard to say why Lily is less prepared than
Violet. Perhaps the taboo surrounding open end-of-life discussions is at play.
Perhaps making life changes at age 70 feels too overwhelming for Lily. Nevertheless, Lily and others could all
learn a lot from Violet’s choices.
Does any one have a "Lily" in their life that needs a little guidance or support?
How did you help?
